Over the last 10 years, I’ve worked closely with hundreds of clients and thousands of community builders. And honestly, there’s one pattern I keep seeing over and over again.
A coach pours their heart into building a community. They launch with excitement. They get people in the door.
And then… they disappear.
No comments. No replies. No presence.
When engagement inevitably plummets, these same coaches are left scratching their heads, wondering where they went wrong. Was it the platform? The features? The content? Naturally, these emails hit my inbox or my own DMs.
The Hard Truth About Community Engagement
Here’s the uncomfortable reality. If you’re not showing up, why should anyone else?
Now more than ever, we have automated emails, AI-generated content, and pre-scheduled posts, where is the human side? Your personal presence has become the most valuable and irreplaceable asset you possess. It’s also the one thing your competitors cannot replicate.
Think about the communities and groups you love being part of. What keeps you coming back? Is it the sleek interface? The organized content? Or is it the relationships, personal interactions, and the feeling that the coach/founder/CEO genuinely cares about your journey and experience?
Your Presence Matters More Than Ever
In 2025, anyone can launch a course. Anyone can set up a Slack channel or BuddyBoss community. Anyone can create a Facebook group. The barrier to entry for creating online communities has never been lower.
But building a thriving community? That requires something far more precious; your time and attention.
When you regularly show up in your community, you show your members a strong message.
1. This community matters: Your frequent attention demonstrates that this isn’t just another forgotten project.
2. You matter: When you respond to members by name and answer their specific questions, you show that they’re valued individuals, not just metrics and sales on a spreadsheet.
3. This is a living, breathing and evolving: Active leadership transforms a static platform into a dynamic environment. There is always something new to come back for.
4. Vulnerability and authenticity is welcome: When you share your own challenges and questions, you enable your members to do the same.
The Silent Leader
Your absence from your community speaks volumes. It whispers to your members:
“”This isn’t worth my time.” “I’ve moved on to more important things.” “I care about selling the program and course, not supporting their journey to reach the promised outcome””
Even if none of those statements are true, perception becomes reality. When members see tumbleweeds rolling through a supposedly “active” community, they quickly disengage.
How to Show Up Every Week
The good news? You don’t need to be online 24/7 to create an engaged community. Quality will always beat quantity.
I’m going to share some tips that I used when I built my online community, and what I see from our most engaged customers:
1. Schedule non-negotiable community time
Block 15-30 minutes on your calendar every day for active community engagement. Treat this as seriously as you would a client call or team meeting.
2. Lead by example
Model the behavior you want to see. Ask questions. Share insights from your current progress, be authentic and transparent. Your activity sets the tone for the entire community.
3. Celebrate member wins publicly
Nothing encourages participation like recognition. Make a habit of highlighting member achievements, no matter how small. This creates positive reinforcement loops that drive further engagement, whilst also serving as a fantastic Customer Showcase in the future (grab those testimonials!)
4. Create structured and themed activities
Weekly prompts, monthly challenges, and themed discussions give members clear ways to engage. Everyone loves to contribute to a ‘Feedback Friday’, but remember you must participate in these activities too.
5. Use personalized voice and video
While written responses are valuable, occasional image or video adds a personal dimension that text alone cannot convey. Images and videos remind members there’s a real, authentic human behind the community.
6. Delegate, don’t disappear
As your community grows, you may need community managers or hire additional coaches to help maintain engagement. This is healthy to scale, but it shouldn’t mean your complete absence. Members joined your community because of you; make sure you remain visible and accessible.
The Balancing Act of Automation
AI content and automated tasks absolutely have its place in community management. Welcome sequences, reminder emails, and scheduled announcements can create consistency and reduce administrative burden.
But automation should amplify your presence, not replace it.
Use technology to handle the routine so you can focus on the relationships. Automate the predictable so you can show up for the personal.
Taking Your Community Pledge
My daughter has recently started Rainbows, which is a girl-scouts/girl-guides for younger ones. Part of being a girl guide is making a pledge in front of everyone, announcing they aim to be the best version they can be, for themselves and their community. That’s inspired my last piece here.
If you’re serious about building a thriving online community, consider this your wake-up call and your own pledge:
“”I recognise that my presence is essential to my community’s success. I commit to showing up consistently, engaging authentically, and demonstrating through my actions that this community matters deeply to me.””
Just remember: Communities don’t die from lack of features. They die from lack of you.
Your students, clients, and members aren’t primarily paying for information – they’re investing in transformation. And transformation happens through connection, not just content.
So show up and be present.
